Lottery!

I can tell it's going to be a really great weekend because I just know I'm going to win the lottery tonight. It's like how you know the sun will rise or the earth is round or Oprah is actually the second coming of Christ. Take that, Rick Santorum.

Speaking of Rick "The Sweater Vest" Santorum, my friend David sent me a FOX news clip of Santorum talking about how he'd repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell. My favorite quote in it from him is, "You're not homosexual by the color of your skin." This throws my whole identity into crisis. You can watch it here: 

And now that Michele Bachmann's gone she can go back to her lawfully-wedded duties of being Marcus' beard. 


The other reason I know... I just KNOW it!... that it's going to be a great weekend is because Portlandia's season premiere is tonight. That's right. Hot date with me, my couch and the Independent Film Channel. It's too much sexy.

By the way, if I win the lottery I'm going to pay someone else to write this nonsense.