Things I Learned This Year in L.A.

Budgie at the beach

Almost a year ago I moved down here hardly knowing anyone. I rented an apartment I'd never seen but assumed it was perfect because it allowed Budgie and was across the street from the dog beach.

I've been homesick for Santa Cruz. Of all the places I've lived, I've never been homesick. I was spoiled being able to step right out and surf everyday in a healthy ocean with friends. I don't know if it's my age that's making me more of a recluse now. I've definitely met some fantastic people here but I still spend about 95% of my time alone; forcing myself to stay disciplined with what I want to accomplish. Here are a few things I learned my first year in LA.

• I've swallowed worse things than pride. I let go of having to be right when I've felt wronged or slighted. Not all the time. But when it came down to an important friendship, I owned my shit for once, said sorry and meant it. My opinions aren't my identity. My opinions belong to ego. I don't have to cagematch someone to the death in defense of my opinions (threatened ego). Note to self, send letter to younger self circa 1988 onward about this.

• I can no longer consume dairy past its expiration.  The flora of my gut has probably had enough for one lifetime. 

• Pray on my knees with a fearless, open heart.  It's free therapy. See this post.

• Shut up and meditate. I'm talking about that constant newscrawl chatter and editor in our heads. Check out these free guided meditations from Meditation Oasis you can download on iTunes. Funny, I was telling my friend Melody (who writes a fantastic Yoga blog here) that every time I try to meditate, one of the cats takes a nasty dump in the litterbox. I think it's the Universe's way of honing my sense of focus. Anyway, it's really relaxing to stop looking back or projecting forward and just focus on the only thing that's truly real, which is the moment that's happening now.

• Do not compare myself to anyone or anything. Guess what? I'm turning 40 soon. My tits are racing each other to my knees and sometimes I think I could pack luggage to Europe in the bags under my eyes. Oh well. This is who I am. Also, appreciate other peoples' talents, don't line yours up next to theirs. That's the fastest way to feed insecurity and self-sabotage. What you have to say and offer is unique and perfect simply for the reason that you exist in the first place. I am surrounded by some brilliant people here and I find myself often thinking, "How come I didn't come up with that?" It's because I came up with something else. So just be quiet, have faith and....

• Never, ever, ever, give up on yourself. Other people might but that's about them, not you. Rest when you're weary but be your own best cheerleader. Do not quit. There are people who talk and people who do. Do something. The universe rewards action. I've come to notice that the people who do a lot of talking are mostly making excuses; standing around talking about all these things they're going to do. And that's fine. That's their journey. If you want something, go do it. You're going to meet headwinds and have very dark nights of the soul. That's ok. They make you a badass ninja.

• I don't think people in California are taught to parallel park in driver's ed. I thought it was just a NorCal thing. Nope. From Mendocino all the way down to the Mexican border, parallel parking seems to be impossible for drivers here. But, just about everyone I've met here has been a blessing, a teacher or an angel in disguise.

What are you taking away from 2011? Here's to an awesome 2012 for those who don't go by the Mayan calendar.